It’s time yet again for the article that’s easy for me and fun for you- Fun with Netflix Viewer Reviews! Volume nineteen of Netflix viewers writing funny reviews focuses on movies about technology and computers, because I just got a new Mac Mini. In fact, this is the first article I’ve written on it. These are presented completely unedited. Even when you think I might have edited something in or out of the copy, I assure you that I have not.
The Net (1995)
A sexy woman who is a computer nerd and eats pizza for dinner. Ummmm. No. Even if you file this under fantasy…its beyond realistic that you can suspend reality enough to enjoy this one.
If you like computers, extacy, techno, and wearing traffic vests for fasion… you will love this movie! If you don’t like any of that stuff and still like this movie your probably in the 5th grade. 107 minutes of my life I will never get back. No one to blame but my self. Im just trying to warn the rest of you. CARPE DIEM!
War Games (1983)
This movie is not advertisement. With so many of the movies I have seen. This movie from what I have heard is required learning at some colleges, in the past. Back then this movie was considered state of the art. How to we to say that this movies ideas with programs are not the same.
The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969)
I love the old Disney movies and wanted to share them with my children. However, there was a reference to PLAYBOY magazine and a long and lustfull look at a young woman by Dexter. I was surprised to say the least and won’t be renting this again.
disc would not play. Disc would not play. Disc would not play disc would not play
The Matrix (1999)
“So, like, what if the world is like, nothing but a dreaaaam, man, and, like, some alien or computer or monster or something is, like, dreaming our whole reality?” “Woah. That’s really heavy, man.” “Duuuude.” The Matrix suffers from the same problem as Waking Life did, in that it sounds like something a couple of stoned college kids came up with after their first day of Philosophy 101. The visual effects were impressive when the movie first came out but now that everyone and their mother has put “bullet time” in their movie it looks tired and will only age less gracefully with time. Without the visual f/x you’re left with a bunch of flash and bang and no substance. The Matrix works as action cheese, but nothing else.
Code Hunter (2002)
If you decided to make a movie for 14 year old computer geeks with no social skills, no life and no chance of ever getting a hot girlfriend, this is the movie you’d make. Code Hunter is basically one level beyond an ABC after school special. The hero has been in trouble for bringing down the LA power grid and was banned from computers until recently, so his glory days of hacking behind him, he is now blackmailed into once again proving that he is the ultimo supremo hacker, saving the world from destruction earning the admiration of federal agents, admirals, and a sporty little shorty TV news anchor played by soap opera super-babe Vanessa Marcil. They even have Vanessa wearing glasses and with her gorgeous hair up to make her more nerd accessible. You also get Adrian Paul of the Highlander TV series (who apparently has time to kill and no standards) in reipoff of a Duncan McLeou “quickening” scene. Added to this, Chinese hottie Bai Ling in the tightest vinyl skirts off the rack (why promos keep billing Bai Ling as a martial artist when she clearly couldn’t kick a can, let alone anyone’s butt is beyond me), and all topped off with Jerry Doyle (Security Chief Michael Garibaldi of Babylon V) playing a four star admiral with the brains of: a security chief. Of course, in the end all is well, the world is saved, everyone realizes the loser is super-cool and he gets the hottie girl who is clearly both too old and too amazing looking for any computer geek lacking Bill Gates bank account. It could happen….in a video game. Rated “NA” for “No Adults” should bother to rent this movie.
You’ve Got Mail (1998)
Riding the wave of technology! One can feel the excitement of the internet!! Dial Up! Chat Rooms! The only problem seems to be that the laptop is the most memorable star in this romantic comedy!!?
The Social Network (2010)
Made it 2 minutes into this movie before ejecting the disk from my DVD player in revulsion. Sorry for the not-so-useful review, folks, but I made it fully 30 minutes into Borat and Russian Ark before bailing. The supreme narcissism of these Harvard weenies is not worth watching on film.
Editor’s Note: 2 minutes is an all-time record for a person bragging about how quickly they stopped a movie. (as if it’s anything to brag about to begin with)
HUHHHHH, okay is the only word i can honestly say to describe this movie. I use to see it advertised on Cinemax back in the day, but never was interested to watch it. The only reason why i rented it is because i rented Tron 2 so i wanted to get a recap of the characters history in this one. The special effects in this were very dull, i know it’s 1982, however i wasn’t impressed. Tron 2 is way better than this version. 2 1/2 stars
Short Circuit 2 (1988)
my favret part is he was mad becuase introtrs and
Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
This is quite possibly my favorite action movie ever. I’ve heard people complain that it’s over the top and the action isn’t believable. But just think about how boring an action movie would be if everything was realistic. This movie worked because of Bruce’s performance. He’s much more threatening without hair, and despite his age, you believe that he can take all this abuse and still survive. I love the fact that he’s not a hero. He’s just a normal guy stuck in a situation he doesn’t want to be in. There is rarely a dull moment, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is hot, Justin Long is funny. I loved it!
Editor’s Note: I get a little more “threatening” every day and it sucks.