The St. Louis-based We Are Movie Geeks is my favorite resource for attaining screener passes to films before they come out. Their contests to acquire screener passes usually revolve around fun questions. Their most recent question, for passes to see ParaNorman, was a doozy:
You travel to Tinseltown – Hollywood – and you notice it’s full of the walking dead! What famous star do you hope to see as… A ZOMBIE!! and why.
I love this question so much that I’ve developed several answers.
For the record, I’m interpreting this question to mean that they’re already dead.
Mae West: I want to hear the grunting zombie equivalent of “Why don’t you come up and see me some time?”
Lucille Ball: Her red hair coupled with dead green zombie skin would sort of give the horrifying zombie apocalypse a bit of Christmas cheer.
Lassie: What’s that, Lassie? There’s trouble at the old brain surgeon’s house?
All the dead Saturday Night Live cast members: Even if they’re zombified, putting together John Belushi, Chris Farley, Gilda Radner, and Phil Hartman (and what the hell, Charles Rocket) would make for an amazing SNL episode.
Jimmy Stewart: It’d be the definitive proof, once and for all, that Jimmy Stewart is the most beloved Hollywood icon. If he’s trying to eat everyone’s brains and people still like him, I’d say that closes the books.
Mickey Rooney: Holy shit, he’s still alive? Never mind.
Marilyn Monroe: It’s the same general concept as the one behind Jimmy Stewart. Just replace beauty with likability.
Buster Keaton: He’s already the great stone face. And what comedy do zombies have if not great stone faces?
Bette Davis: Who doesn’t want to see “Bette Davis eyes” rotting to mush?
Bela Lugosi: What could be more literal than a classic Hollywood monster becoming a real-life monster? It would be poetic justice for Lugosi.
Orson Welles: Fat zombies are funny.
Paul Newman: I can only imagine the wacky salad dressing labels that they’d come up with.
Lon Chaney, Sr.: Turning him into a zombie would actually make him less creepy than the living (on-screen) version.
Audrey Hepburn: I guarantee you’ll never meet a classier zombie.