Last week, HBO was forced to cancel their new series, Luck, which revolved around a slew of characters who worked in the horse racing industry. Luck lasted just one season, and was cancelled because of the death of three horses during production, the most recent death occurring during filming of the second season. The show had quite the pedigree. It was produced by Michael Mann, created by Deadwood creator David Milch, was produced by and starred Dustin Hoffman, and also starred Nick Nolte. While it had yet to find a larger audience, it had been generally well-received by critics, scoring a 75/100 rating on Metacritic. And now, it’s over. But I think I know how HBO can save the series.
The issue, clearly, is the safety of the animals. Three deaths while filming one TV show is unprecedented. The American Humane Association, which monitors filming to ensure animal safety, notes that the last animal death during filming of a TV or movie happened while filming 3:10 to Yuma in 2007. My recommended solution? Don’t use animals. I’ve mocked up an image that illustrates how this will work:
You don’t see horse costumes used much anymore. You know how this works. One person stands up front in the horse costume while a second person bends over, planting their face in the buttcheeks of the first person. The second person serves as, literally, the horse’s ass. You can even put a jockey onto this creation, although any whipping may be inhumane. I’m calling on you, HBO. Make this happen.