As regular readers may recall, I have a four year old nephew named Jason. We occasionally go to movies together. Sometimes, he even lets me interview him about the experience. The last time we did so was when he saw Cars 2, which he claimed was “super duper good”, 10 stars out of 10. This past weekend, I took him to see Arthur Christmas, the British computer animated tale of Santa’s son, Arthur, who must save Christmas for one little girl. Here is the full transcript of our roundtable discussion after the movie, both about Arthur Christmas and a few other films that we saw together this year. As outlandish as a lot of the commentary seems, as much as it may seem like an active imagination running wild, almost everything that we talked about is actually in the movie:
John: What was Arthur Christmas about?
Jason: Um… I liked the… I liked Arthur when he ride the bicycle and when the lions were trying to eat him.
John: There were lions and elephants and zebras. What did they do?
Jason: They flied.
John: They flied.
Jason: And they like this funny part of the… when the animals were flying, that one when he… when he…
John: When they thought he was an alien?
John: That was funny?
Jason: They were shooting at them.
John: There were reindeer. What were the reindeers names?
Jason: Um… I don’t know.
Jason: That’s all.
John: That’s all? But I have a couple more questions.
Jason: But we’re done already.
John (laughing): Ok. But, real quick- one to five stars, how many stars?
John: Three out of five? How many was The Smurfs?
John: 463,000 out of 5 stars? Ok. And how about The Muppets?
John: 3,500 out of 5 stars? Ok. And, do you think Santa really has a son named Steve?
Jason: It costed 80%.
John: He has 80% of a son named Steve?
John: But 100% of a son named Arthur, right?
Jason (giggling): Yeah.
Jason: What cost is a Hot Wheel?
John: What cost is a Hot Wheel?
John: Maybe in Japanese yen, it’s 30,000. But it depends on how many Hot Wheels you’re buying…
Jason: 30,000! That’s it. We’ll talk later.
(a few minutes later)
John: Did you like Santa’s sleigh or his spaceship better?
Jason: The spaceship.
Jason: That’s all. That’s all.
John: You don’t remember any other parts of the movie? Do you remember when Santa’s dad almost caused the Cuban Missile Crisis to turn into World War III?
Jason (makes pseudo-raspberry with lips)
John: That part wasn’t funny, huh?
Jason: Yes, it was funny.
John: But they avoided it. And then they got sleigh fever. Remember that part?
Jason (giggling): Yeah, sleigh fever.
John: They gave everybody a stick with a sausage tied to it. Do you remember that part?
Jason: I like it when, um, that boy wanted the bicycle.
John: When Pedro got the bicycle? Remember his little dog? Was the dog funny?
Jason: Yeah. And remember when he shared his slipper for him to play with?
John: Yep. The slipper- what was on the slipper.
Jason: I don’t know.
John: Were they big eyes? Big yellow eyes?
Jason: I don’t know what it was called.
John: Yellow eyes.
Jason: That’s all.