DVR, or Digital Video saRlacc

There are a handful of Star Wars nerds who will get the sarlacc reference right away. For the rest of you who don’t, the sarlacc was a giant beast that lived in a pit on Tattooine (in the Star Wars universe). It had multiple rows of teeth and tentacles to shovel people, animals, and whatever else it ate into its mouth. Being eaten alive by the sarlacc was not a quick and painless way to go. In fact, it could take thousands of years for the sarlacc to digest its prey. In summation:

  • giant beast
  • eats anything it can find
  • takes a really long time to digest prey

And that’s basically my DVR. Allow me to explain, just in case the analogy isn’t direct enough.

The sarlacc, about to consume a bunch of Jabba's minions the same way my DVR consumes movies.

When you’re a hardcore movie nerd, you’re always on the lookout for the next thing to watch. There’s always something else out there that you’re unfamiliar with. Or worse yet, the list of award-nominated classics is a mile long and there’s some sort of sense of obligation. “Hey”, you might think, “I’ve never seen 1965’s Cat Ballou. I don’t want to watch it right now, but I should grab it while I can”. Before you know it, it’s 2 a.m. on a Wednesday night and your DVR is recording it. Now, the reality is that it’s almost impossible to keep up. In addition to classics and obscure unfamiliar genres like chopsocky or girls with guns, there are things you actually want to watch right now, as in today or this week or this month, and not save for later.

I’m sure you see where this is going. After just a month or two, the DVR starts accumulating one movie after another, and they sit there. They wait… and they wait… and they wait some more to be digested, er… viewed. There just isn’t enough time in the week to watch everything on there. Here are some of the more outrageous acquisition dates for items on my DVR:

-Arsenic and Old Lace, added 3/16/11
-The 49th Parallel, added 7/9/11
-Flowers of St. Francis, added 11/29/10 (that’s right, it’s going to celebrate a one year anniversary on my DVR this week)
-Gandhi, added 2/5/11
-Pandora’s Box, 1/30/11

That’s just the current batch. All of the other stuff has “only” been around for two months or less. That’s not counting stuff that I’ve deleted off of my DVR to make space for other items that I felt deserved the space more, nor does it count the two or three that I wiped off of there two weeks ago. They were just as old, I assure you.

I suppose what I have here is a bit of a mission statement for my DVR. I don’t use it as a means for instant gratification. I use it as my own personal library, stocked with things I know I’ll want to watch eventually, but not at this very moment. Then all hell breaks loose and a year later, I’ve had the freakin’ Flowers of St. Francis on there unscathed. Until I get to those movies, digest, my toothy tentacled friend.


Filed under Movies

4 responses to “DVR, or Digital Video saRlacc

  1. I have the same problem with my DVR too – I record stuff and then find I never get a chance to watch it, so the wife ends up deleting it about six months later.

    Now I just record the sports and if i don’t have the time to watch whatever movie I’m recording RIGHT AWAY, I don’t bother with it.

  2. I’ve got stuff on my DVR from as far back as 5 or 6 years ago. It is definitely a bad habit of mine.

  3. (Un?)fortunately, there is rarely any good films on TV here in New Zealand. Maybe one or two each week that are actually worth seeing, so I never really have this problem with my DVR. However, I do have a few DVDs I’ve rented from Fatso (the NZ Netflix equivalent), some of which have been there for up to a month, which for me is unhealthy, because when I rent a movie I usually watch it straight away. Yeah, it can be a bitch.

  4. I often find myself doing this. trawling through SKY MOVIES INDIE for something to watch. And so often it sits there….then drops off unwatched. What make it worse is that sky have all the films there to watch instantly so there is no need to actually record them at all!!


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