The Harry Potter series has finally come to a close, and it’s all the rage these days to write retrospectives. While others are contemplating which was the best film in the series, or whether or not the epilogue detracted from the final film, I’d prefer to approach it from a different angle. After eight movies, what have I learned from the Harry Potter movies?
Private school kids have it easy.
I went to public school. Instead of magical trains or ghost buses picking me up and taking me to class, I had a rickety yellow school bus driven by some guy named Lester. Instead of a fireplace, my school had several places where fires had once been started. The kids at Hogwarts dined in a palatial, candle-lit dining hall that was adorned with flags. I dined on rectangular pizza and pimento cheese sandwiches- placed on plastic trays- inside of a room that belonged in one of the Saw films. Private school kids apparently have it made.
Be a free elf, even if it means your only possession will be a sock.
Sometimes, it’s perfectly acceptable to lessen your possessions if it means you’ll have more freedom. Even with less items, you’ll be happier doing something you enjoy than you will be as an indentured servant working for the Malfoys of the world.
People with beards are smart and/or awesome.
Dumbledore? Beard. Sirius Black? Beard. Hagrid? Beard. And they were all smart and/or awesome characters. You know who sucked? Voldemort, and he didn’t have a single hair on his head. No beard. People with beards are smart and/or awesome.
It’s extremely hard to master one’s “wand” when pubescent urges strike.
How can anyone expect a 14 year old to learn a Reducto spell when their hormones are raging? How can they focus on their schoolwork while simultaneously trying to find a date to a really awkard dance? Naturally, the key to overcoming this is tapping the power of the “elder wand”.
Sometimes, you have to speak the language of snakes to get ahead in life.
Harry’s ability to speak parseltongue, while frightening, helped him out of many a jam over the years. And it’s the same for us schmucks living in the magic-free world. There are slimy, serpentine type-A people all over the place, many who have climbed to prominent positions. Others may be pining for the things that you have, and will do anything to take your job, house, and money. You’re better off understanding what they’re saying so you can get along with them on a base level, and prevent their various forms of theft.
British tattoo artists are really good at their jobs.
Seriously, have you seen those death eater tattoos? They wiggle around and summon minions, and all you have to do is touch the tattoo with a stick.
If you abuse trees and the environment, eventually it will get revenge on you.
Harry and Ron flew a car into the willow tree and it spent the rest of their time there torturing them for vengeance. It viciously attacked both of them, as well as Hermione, and also destroyed Harry’s broom. Mind the environment, people, or it will come back to haunt you.
Everything the press says must be taken with a grain of salt.
Just as there are certain news outlets whose obvious liberties with the facts make us roll our eyes (They Who Should Not be Named), the Potter Universe was crawling with misinformation put forth by The Daily Prophet.