Twelve Movie Characters I’d Want to Drink With

There are a lot of admirable movie characters out there. But there are different kinds of admiration. I think it’d be hilarious to hang out with, say, Fielding Mellish from Bananas. But over drinks? Not so much. You see, some people are simply more fun to be around when in a social environment, with alcohol involved. Here are twelve movie characters I’d like to drink with:

Tom Powers, The Public Enemy


As someone who’ll give a beatdown to bar owners who won’t sell his hooch, he’d obviously know all of the best taverns. Moreover, how great would it be to listen to all of those references to “dames” and “molls” and such?

________________________________________________________________

The Stranger, High Plains Drifter


Now this is a character who knows how to paint the town red. Wokka wokka. One thing is for certain- you’d better be careful not to say the wrong thing while drinking with him because he sure as hell knows how to get revenge.

________________________________________________________________

Martha, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?


I guess to answer the question- who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf? Not me. Sure, a night boozing with Martha would probably get ugly. It’d also be eventful, quite possibly the most bi-polar evening you’ll ever spend. Well, bring it on.

________________________________________________________________

Bob and Doug McKenzie, Strange Brew


You may say that I’m cheating by counting two characters as one selection. And my reply would be “Don’t be such a hoser”. You can’t pass up the chance to talk about beer with the masterminds behind the Elsinore Brewery.

________________________________________________________________

Willie/Santa Claus, Bad Santa


One of my favorite lines in any song is from Bob Dylan’s Like a Rolling Stone. “When you got nothin’, you got nothin’ to lose”, Dylan says. There is no greater embodiment of this than Billy Bob Thornton’s Bad Santa character. It’d be worth it just to find and meet women who have a Santa Claus fetish.

________________________________________________________________

Séverine Serizy, Belle de Jour


The reasons for this selection are two-fold. First and foremost, no movie character has ever looked more attractive than this. Ever. Never ever ever never ever. So sitting around and drooling into your beverage while looking at Deneuve/Serizy would make for a fantastic experience. Second, this repressed woman clearly has a wild side, which is attested to time and again.

________________________________________________________________

Elwood P. Dowd, Harvey


Here’s a guy who gets so plastered that he starts talking to a giant invisible rabbit. That’s hours of endless fun.

________________________________________________________________

Annie Savoy, Bull Durham


She’s a beautiful and highly intelligent woman… who just happens to love the game of baseball so much that she has a shrine to the game. Get a few drinks in her and she’ll even dance with Max Patkin. Now, there’s a girl with a wild streak.

________________________________________________________________

Maxine Faulk, Night of the Iguana


There is no single word that means “boisterous, fun-loving, classy broad who can hold her liquor”, but if there was… well, you get the picture. And if you were drinking with Maxine Faulk/Ava Gardner, you’d be doing it in Mexico, and probably wouldn’t have a care in the world other than whatever it was that you left behind to go to Mexico.

________________________________________________________________

Geoffrey Firmin, Under the Volcano


Speaking of characters who ran away to Mexico to hide from their problems, few did it as well as Geoffrey Firmin. Besides, this list needs another good old fashioned dour depressive drunk.

________________________________________________________________

Al Czervik, Caddyshack


I want to drink with anyone who can rip open a golf bag, blare some Journey songs, and turn the stodgy Bushwood Country Club into that much of a fun place.

________________________________________________________________

Rick Blaine, Casablanca


I’d have to be a fool to omit Rick Blaine from this list. And I’m not (that much of) a fool. He refers to his place as a “gin joint” and is one of the coolest movie characters around. It’s a no-brainer.


15 Comments

Filed under Movies

15 responses to “Twelve Movie Characters I’d Want to Drink With

  1. Kelly

    Nice eclectic mix of characters. Not sure I’d drink with Martha, though. Her mood swings make me want to slap her, but I know she’d slap me right back.

  2. Dude

    I have to admit that as funny as Dangerfield is in that movie, (and I love me some caddyshackb) if someone acted that way in public, I would not be happy about it. Especially in my backswing.

    • Touché. Obviously, I am not a golfer (Lebowski reference), so I don’t appreciate the negative nuance of Dangerfield’s character.

      • Rodney Dangerfield is a stand-up genius. He can make hilarious one-liners appear from thin air. The two biggest laughs I’ve ever had in memory are Simon Pegg greeting Sanford with the line “Morning,” in the western-style shootout finale in Hot Fuzz and Rodney Dangerfield saying “You scratched my anchor!”

  3. rtm

    I don’t drink so sadly I don’t think I’d be a good company for any of these folks 🙂

  4. Don

    Two others i would love to tie one on with: Arthur–He’s just so dang cute, and Peter O’Tools character from My Favorite Year, now that would be one wild night!

  5. I think I’m too attracted to Clint Eastwood: Cowboy Edition to drink with him. But your painting-town-red joke? Brilliant.

    Side note re: Night of the Iguana…I think I’d rather drink with Tennessee Williams than any of his characters. I feel like he might turn into Blanche or Maggie after three shots of tequila anyway.

    • I live and work about five minutes from where Tennessee Williams grew up. I don’t really know why I felt the need to share.

      The quandary of drinking with Clint is that it’s going to be bourbon- and lots of it, and enough to make people ornery.

  6. @da_Rhettster

    When drinking with Martha, be sure to order the Bourgeon

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s