I was born in 1976. It’s 2010. I’ve been on this earth for 34 years. The Simpsons have been on the air for 22 of those years. There are kids graduating college now who have never lived in a Simpsonsless world, and that’s astounding. When you’ve been making 22 years of episodes, you’re bound to be fertile for obscure lists. That having been said, here are ten great animals from The Simpsons. One small point of clarification- these are the obscure animals. Snowball II and Santa’s Little Helper are great, but they’re too obvious.
Mojo the Helper Monkey
Homer initially attained Mojo under the guise that he could help Grampa, who famously says “Mmm…. I can’t wait to eat that monkey.” Mojo wound up living with Homer, and adopting Homer’s horrible habits- gluttony, drinking, etc… The “pray… for… Mojo” clip is one of my all-time favorite Simpsons’ bits.
Chirpy Boy and Bart Junior
These are the deadly Bolivian tree lizards that Bart raises. I include them primarily because the names he gives them crack me up. Those are precisely the kind of names you’d expect a ten year old boy to give his pets.
One of the Simpsons animals that started it all, Blinky first appeared in the second season as a mutation caused by Mr. Burns’ disregard for nuclear plant safety. And it’s obvious that the creators love Blinky because he’s made several appearances since then.
Pinchy the Lobster
This is one of my favorites because of the way Homer coddles a crustacean. It has absolutely no way of showing love. It has menacing pincers and lobsters generally look pretty freaky to begin with. And yet, you can’t even say that Homer loves it like a son… because Homer winds up loving it MORE than his very own son. And then he eats him.
First of all, his name- Mr. Teeny- is shorthand for “martini”, which is great considering that the monkey belongs to an alcoholic clown. Second, Mr. Teeny smokes like a chimney and still hasn’t gotten cancer, which means he’s an invincible monkey. Third, he’s an acting dynamo. The only primate in TV/movie history that can out-act Mr. Teeny is Clint Eastwood’s sidekick, Clyde the Orangutan. Clyde was the Sir Laurence Olivier of acting primates.
Plopper the Pig
Spider-Pig, in my opinion, was the best part of the Simpsons movie. It was run down a ton via the trailers leading up to the release, and I still laughed at it in the theater despite knowing precisely what was coming.
Jub Jub the Iguana
My favorite Jub Jub moment is this quote from Troy McClure, who you may remember from such episodes as “A Fish Called Selma” and “The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase”:
Don’t you have everything you ever wanted here? Money, security, a big hot flat rock for Jub Jub?
This is the knife-fighting monkey that Mr. Burns keeps for sport. If nothing else, his presence on this list proves that:
a) I love Curious George references
b) The Simpsons’ writers think monkeys are funny and
c) so do I, because that’s the third monkey on this list.
Stampy the Elephant
This list simply wouldn’t be right without Stampy. If nothing else, thanks to Stampy, we got to have some fun with “Bill and Marty”, the parody of crappy morning radio DJ’s.
Bitey the Possum
Oh, Bitey. You were only on screen for a second. But you gave Homer the opportunity to tell Marge “I call the big one ‘Bitey’.” It was such a perfect child-like stupid Homer moment.