100 Things I Love About Holiday Movies (and TV)

With this entry, I have reached another milestone at TDYLF. This time, it’s my 100th entry. That being the case, it’s time to roll out another edition of…

Since it’s December, and since I find holiday movies and specials to be fertile territory, today I’m featuring 100 Things I Love about Holiday Movies and TV Shows. Forgive my occasional foray into films that reference, but aren’t specifically about, the holidays. And yes, it’s “holiday” and not “Christmas”. Otherwise, how could I include Adam Sandler’s best work or the Kwanzaa Bot?

1. Alistair Sim as Ebeneezer Scrooge. And

2. George C. Scott as Ebeneezer Scrooge. And

3. Albert Finney as Ebeneezer Scrooge.

4. The Grinch doesn’t wear any pants.

5. You’ll shoot your eye out, you’ll shoot your eye out!

6. “We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye.”

7. The mice with reindeer antlers stapled to their heads in Scrooged

8. and Bill Murray’s idea of a Christmas special featuring Mary Lou Retton and the Solid Gold dancers in the same movie.

9. The Land of Misfit Toys

10. Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby singing together, or that…

11. White Christmas might be the only musical I’ve ever liked.

12. Will Ferrell in tights

13. This:

14. Every time a bell rings, the most saccharine sweet line in film history is uttered

15. Professional wrestler Bill Goldberg playing an evil Santa in Santa’s Slay

16. Burl Ives looking like the snowman version of Colonel Sanders (yes, I am aware that Burl Ives also looked like that)

17. Kwanzaa Bot

18. Lauren Graham’s very explicit instructions to Billy Bob Thornton in the department store changing room in Bad Santa

19. Finding out that there really is a Santa Claus in Miracle on 34th Street

20. The first five minutes of The Boondocks holiday special.

21. And the ending of that same special that features Huey’s production of The Adventures of Black Jesus

22. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, and Phil Hartman all in the same movie in Jingle All the Way

23. Tim Burton’s creepy, weird-ass Jack Skellington-infused vision of Christmas

24. This, from 1905:

25. Charlie Brown and the gang singing “Christmas Time is Here”

26. John Belushi as the drunk mall Santa in the Santi-Wrap ad on SNL

27. Hannukah Harry, as per Jon Lovitz

28. The Christmas Truce of 1914 as portrayed in Joyeux Noël

29. Macaulay Culkin’s rocket ship to stardom after Home Alone

30. The hilarious yet gross scene transition at the end of the “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine” scene in A Christmas Story (trust me, watch for it; you’ll never see that scene the same way again)

31. Ralphie as a deranged Easter bunny

32. “Fra-jee-lay. Must be Italian!

33. “Ooooooooh Fuuuuuuudge”

(sorry for the A Christmas Story block on the list but it sort of had to be done)

34. “Snot, you roll over and let Uncle Clark rub your belly”

35. “Jack Frost” refers both to a Michael Keaton family film AND a horror in which a murderous snow man sexually assaults Shannon Elizabeth with his carrot nose

36. “Bert” and “Ernie” in It’s a Wonderful Life giving birth to some other characters named Bert and Ernie

37. Little Cindy Lou Who, who was no more than two. And

38. Boris Karloff giving life to the Grinch. Seriously. You find a better voice for The Grinch and I’ll give you a shiny nickel.

39. John Wayne as an allegorical Magi in 3 Godfathers

40. An ax-wielding zombie in a Santa suit in Paco Plaza’s Xmas Tale

41. Charles Foster Kane receiving one of film history’s most famous Christmas gifts- a sled

42. Bruce Willis/John McClane saving Christmas not once, but twice

43. “What’s your name, Bart…ner? Uh, little partner?”

44. Christmas with Ingmar Bergman

45. Zuzu’s petals

46. Christmas with John Huston in The Dead

47. Larry David coughing up a hair while wrestling with a Nativity scene Joseph

48. Santa Claus Conquering the Martians in 1964…

49. just five years after he defeated the devil in Mexico in 1959

50. And then in the 70’s, Chewbacca had to make it home to his whole family for “Life Day” in the Star Wars Holiday Special…

51. which existed in a world where Bea Arthur was a bartender in the Mos Eisley Cantina…

52. and Art Carney gave Chewbacca’s dad Itchy wookie porn, which was really a holograph of Diahann Carroll dancing around.

53. The “polar bear” around the 2 minute mark in this clip:

54. The status of “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” as the Official Song of Fat and/or Dumb Guys Dancing™

55. Charlie Brown’s tree

56. Frosty’s magic hat

57. Watching Dudley Moore and John Lithgow in an elementary school auditorium the day before Christmas break when I was 11 years old.

58. The pure perfection of Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchett

You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo!

59. Tinny Tim from the Futurama universe, who is pitch-perfect parody of Dickens’ original Tiny Tim character

60. Max, the Grinch’s dog.

61. Just like John McClane in the same decade, Ernest P. Worrell also saved Christmas

62. Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas. I have no idea what the hell this is but with a name like that, it has to be 99.44% awesome.

63. Sorority girls being terrorized in Black Christmas

64. An old lady shooting through a window on her motorized wheelchair and…

65. a gremlin stuffed into a microwave in Gremlins, which was my all-time favorite movie for about two years. Then I turned ten.

66. Rocky fighting Ivan Drago on Christmas Day

67. Peter Jackson in a Santa suit stabbing Simon Pegg in the hand in Hot Fuzz

68. Gene Hackman/Popeye Doyle in a Santa suit for a bust

69. Elves. The IMDB Plot Summary:

A young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves, an attempt to create a race of supermen. She and two of her friends are trapped in a department store with an elf, and only Dan Haggerty, as the renegade loose-cannon Santa Claus, can save them.

Dan Haggerty is better known as Grizzly Adams.

70. Michael Corleone and Kay Adams Christmas window shopping on a snowy NYC street

71. Dan Akroyd wasted in a Santa suit in Trading Places

72. The leg lamp. And…

73. This:

74. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. He loves me, I love you. Therefore vicariously, he loves you.

75. The original Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer short

76. Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein

77. Or Tarzan, Frankenstein, and Chris Farley

78. The Capra-esque story in Millions

79. The Hallelujah chorus blaring as Clark Griswold’s lights turn on

80. The California Raisins Christmas Special. The fact that I remember that it existed means there’s a tiny portion of my brain that could be used for something worthwhile. But nooooooo…. I have to remember the California Raisins Christmas Special. All the same, enjoy this clip- my favorite Christmas song:

81. Christmas in the Ardennes in Band of Brothers

82. Homer Simpson gambling away his family’s Christmas money.

83. The sheer terror of the way that every single Ghost of Christmas Future looks

84. The collapsing Christmas bridge tragedy in The Mothman Prophecy

85. It’s Christmas in Heaven, Monty Python’s Meaning of Life

86. The white styrofoam reindeer in the 1959 version of Santa Claus

87. In fact, the whole plot of the 1959 version of Santa Claus

With the aid of Merlin, Santa Claus must defeat the evil machinations of the devil Pitch to ruin Xmas.

88. Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay…

89. “Don’t buy anything. Don’t get anything. Nothing big. Didn’t you hear what I said? You’re going to get us all fuckin’ pinched, that’s why. What are you, stupid?” as a Motown version of “Frosty the Snowman” plays in Goodfellas

90. 3 Wise Men in The Life of Brian

91. Alexander plays with his new toy- a magic lantern- in Fanny and Alexander

92. Babe the Pig singing “Fa La La La La”

93. Ice sculptures in Edward Scissorhands

94. The Kid’s devotion to the advent calendar in Bad Santa

95. Hugging a raccoon in Elf

96. A Festivus for the rest of us and…

97. the Airing of Grievances and…

98. the Feats of Strength.

99. Hulk Hogan as Santa Claus in Santa With Muscles

100. Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future


Filed under Humor, Movies, TV Shows

16 responses to “100 Things I Love About Holiday Movies (and TV)

  1. aleksa

    Good list, except for the lack of my favorite Christmas movie “The Ref.”

  2. This list was already awesome, and then I got to the end and saw three Festivus references….that took it to another level of awesome.

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  4. Pingback: Stupid Holiday Charlie Brown

  5. Kelly

    Oh so much to comment on… Firstly, Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas was a Jim Henson produced holiday special. It featured woodland Muppet characters, although I think Kermit may have made an appearance (I don’t quite remember). Secondly, after watching the 1905 clip, I am weirdly disturbed by Santa laughing while shaking his jelly belly. And lastly, my favorite song from the Raisin’s special was “We, Three Kings.” Those were some jazzy camels. Love the list!

    • The one thing I’ve learned over the last few years is that silent movies almost always border on disturbing, even when it’s completely unintentional. I think it’s part of why I’m coming to love them as much as I do.

  6. rtm

    Fun list! If I were to make my list, I’d probably include Die Hard movies… plenty of white Christmas scenery to get you in the holiday mood 🙂

  7. The guy what met Kevin Meany

    The Lauren Graham reference from Bad Santa where she is yelling, “Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!” actually takes place in the car. Billy Bob Thornton, one of four celebrities from Arkansas, actually has one of the most memorable lines since Charlie Chaplin did that Nazi movie, “you ain’t gonna shit right for a week.” The lady was a random plus-sized woman, not Lauren Graham, and it was in a plus-sized dressing room. Were replies supposed to be family friendly?

  8. fuzzywuzzy

    Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas is the best!

  9. Brandon

    Hey fellow holiday movie fans!

    Keep an eye out for “Holiday Baggage” written/directed by Stephen Polk, airing on Monday, December 20th, at 5pm on Lifetime.

    You can also follow on Twitter @holidaybaggage

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