I recently took in the latest Harry Potter film. I’ve now seen seven films filled to the brim with spells. All of the charms kind of crack me up because they’re bastardized versions of whatever it is that they do, plus a Latin-sounding portion of the word. Using this formula, what are some spells that could have been used in other films?
Ear Intacto, Reservoir Dogs
Michael Madsen is magic in his own right, managing to continue getting acting roles.
Phallus Reducto, Tootsie
It would’ve made Dustin Hoffman’s life so much easier in that movie.
Baby-corner Expelliama, Dirty Dancing
This is the first and almost certainly the last time I’ll ever reference Dirty Dancing at TDYLF.
Johnnyus Arrivium, The Shining
Who needs an ax?
Dudium Abidios, The Big Lebowski
But that’s just, like, my opinion, man. And the two films even have a common cast member. My mind just about exploded when I realized that these characters are both the same guy (David Thewlis).
Pedophilia Repellius, Happiness
This would’ve saved me from witnessing one of the toughest things to watch on a screen, ever.
Napalmodoria, Apocalypse Now
I feel like I’m being kind of blasphemous injecting goofy sci fi nerd spells into something like Apocalypse Now.
Returnio, The Terminator
Why bother going all the way through “I’ll be bock”?
Offerosa Acceptium, The Godfather
One way or another- either through Sicilian magic or Harry Potter-style spells- Johnny Fontane is getting that contract.