The first ten days of November are a magical time. Those days rest perfectly between Halloween and Thanksgiving. On one hand, you still crave horror movies and ghouls. On the other hand, you really want to eat some turkey. Only one movie is suited to fill this void- Blood Freak from 1972.
Blood Freak serves as a powerful public service announcement about the dangers of combining genetically altered marijuana with genetically altered turkey. You see, the triptophan and the THC combine and will apparently turn you into a murderous turkey-headed monster thirsting for the blood of “weed addicts”. So please, I beg of you, heed the warning and don’t combine genetically altered weed with genetically altered turkey.
I can say with 100% certainty that this film features cinema’s first and only turkey head guy-on-Christian woman sex scene (or… any woman, for that matter). This leads the woman to ponder what the kids would look like. And it also raises some serious philosophical questions. Would the girl lay an egg? Should turkey head guys be allowed to reproduce, since the subsequent child would be scarred for life? I should probably see if Noam Chomsky will watch Blood Freak and weigh in.
For what it’s worth, unfortunately, the only breasts in this film were covered in feathers and waddle. Further questions? Here’s the trailer, which speaks volumes.