For those of you who don’t know what Human Centipede is, here’s the plot description from IMDB:
Two pretty but ditsy American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany, they end up alone at night with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day, they awaken to find themselves trapped in a terrifying makeshift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. An older German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins. However, his three “patients” are not about to be separated but joined together in a horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric systems. By doing so, he plans to bring to life his sick lifetime fantasy, the human centipede.
If that doesn’t do it for you, here’s a link to the trailer. Basically, it’s about an evil doctor who sews three people together, mouth-to-anus. I watched it earlier this week. And it got me to thinking about product endorsements. So I present to you “Six Failed Human Centipede Product Endorsements”:
1. The Human Centipede Children’s Action Figure
2. Human Centipede Bacon
3. Human Centipede Cereal
With Marshmallow centipedes! There’s an anus in every bite!
5. Human Centipede Mud Flaps
Perfect for the gore hound truck owner on your Christmas shopping list.
6. Human Centipede Mouthwash
This actually isn’t a bad idea. Nothing makes me want to clean out my mouth more than the thought of having an anus sewn to it.
Bonus Seventh Item: Restaurant Placemat Maze