Q: How do you say “constipation” in German?
And with that crappy joke, let’s talk about a little sub-genre that doesn’t get nearly enough love. Let’s talk about Nazi zombies.
You see, zombies are evil. They want to eat your brains and they really can’t be stopped unless you sever their brain. EVIL, I say! But what’s eviler than that evil? What if the resurrected corpse trying to eat your brain was a Nazi when it was alive? NOOOOOOOO! This is an unstoppable force!
Some great Nazi zombie flicks and why you should check them out:
Zombie Lake is like the Lawrence of Arabia of pseudo-porn movies featuring nazi zombies. If only they could stop those pesky fully nude girls from swimming in the lake, they might be able to halt their zombie infestation! The zombies are really ridiculous dudes in green paint that doesn’t even cover up their skin. So you’ll see a zombie reaching out for something and there, underneath his sleeve, you’ll see white skin. Sometimes it’s the eyes. They regrettably failed to paint thoroughly around the eyes. But really, there’s one major reason to see it. If you watch it, you’ll see more ass than a rental car.
Really, half of this movie- the first half- is pretty lame. But the second half is a (insert dumb film critic cliché here) something something thrill ride. No, seriously- the second half is incredible. You’ll know it’s about to get good when a girl has sex with a guy while he’s pooping in an outhouse and a Nazi zombie lurks outside. That’s when they really step on the gas and the film goes from “dumb college kids and ominous stuff in the mountains” to “yummy Nazi zombie goodness”.
I honestly don’t remember a whole heck of a lot about this one other than the fact that I enjoyed it. It was a legitimately good horror. It sort of deals more with a supernatural thing than it does with zombies but I’d say it still qualifies quite easily.
Hard Rock Zombies
It’s 1984 and Hitler- yes, Hitler- is still alive and trying to take over the world with zombie midgets, zombie werewolves, and zombie bible-thumpers. The only thing that stands in his way is a headstrong zombified crappy 80’s butt-rock band whose lead singer is a statutory rapist. Needless to say, this is the king of the Nazi zombie category. A clip:
A new one was just released recently and it stars Peter Cushing. It’s called “Shock Waves” and I’ll be sure to update this entry as soon as I’ve wrapped my braaaaaaains around it.