Fun With Netflix Viewer Reviews: The “I’m on Vacation in Florida Watching Baseball” Edition

It’s time yet again for the article that’s easy for me and fun for you- Fun with Netflix Viewer Reviews! By the time you read volume fifteen of people writing really funny Netflix viewer reviews, there’s a good chance I’ll be in Jupiter, Florida watching my first baseball game(s) of the year. As such, these are all films related to vacations, Florida, baseball, and flights. Also, Burt Reynolds, because the Burt Reynolds Museum is in Jupiter. These are presented completely unedited. Even when you think I might have edited something in or out of the copy, I assure you that I have not.

Bull_Durham

The Wizard of Cos

Bull Durham (1988)
A fun 80′s movie about romance and competition around a minor league baseball team and charming take on small town America. However, as sexy as Sarandon is, Kevin Cosner’s performance is flatter than home plate. As we’re big fans of bad acting, Cosner is one of our favorites. Unfortunately his acting gets much better as his career continued, so you can search his other movies looking for a flatter performance, but you won’t find one. Bull Durham is the Wizard of Cos.

Flipper (1996)
Flipper (1996) The First Ten minutes are not for little kids. After that it is okay but it is PG-13. The story is okay but made for the 90′s. You never see any of the bands Sandy is into. One time watch. (2010) 3-Stars.

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)
I liked this classic movie but could not remember any nudity in the movie. Should have been warned of a couple of nude scenes. Was embarrassed and should have been warned in the ratings area. Would not of watched it if I was warned of the nude scenes.
Editor’s Note: I’m pretty sure the nude scenes are the ONLY reason to watch Airplane II.

StrokerAce-Still1

One of the greatest movies ever made stars Jim Nabors, apparently.

Stroker Ace (1983)
This is one of the greatest movies ever made. I’ve thrown out all my other DVD’s and replaced them with copies of this masterpiece.

Johnson Family Vacation (2004)
You know after you eat a lot of BBQ and just sit on the sofa fat and happy and someone else has the remote and they put it on the channel and fall asleep and you resign yourself to watch whatever is on that channel cause there’s no way you’re getting up to change it? That’s what happened to me and it should be the only way you watch this movie! It’s an unashamed remake of the classic National Lampoon’s Vacation, but Cedric is no Chevy and this film sucks left and right. There isn’t a thing in this movie that makes a lick of sense! Vanessa Williams is still hot, and Beyonce’s little sister’s in it, as is Shannon Elizabeth, who only has a career cause she showed those Tig Bitties in American Pie. Also has my least favorite King of Comedy, Steve Harvey. GARBAGE!

Mr. Baseball (1992)
it sucked so bad it smelled more then my farts k

National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985)
hi!my name is riley and I think the vacation movies are hilairious! and especially this one,very good. so I think this is a want to see it!movie so ithink funny!so if you dont like it that is a shame well ,bye.

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Amazingly, this is the most work-appropriate image I could find for this movie.

Nude on the Moon (1960)
It’s funny when the one guy is like “You’re a scientist Jeff! Think with your head, you won’t be able to live on the Moon!” and the other guy is like “Dammit Professor you’re such a cock blocker!” It’s like in Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail when he says “Can I at least have a little peril?” This is a great film full of charm and whimsey and color and boobs. What fun indeed.

Snakes on a Plane (2006)
hi im Jimbob and i like tacos hi im Jimbob and I like tacos Hi im Jimbob and I like tacos

A League of Their Own (1992)
That was awesome, i like seeing movie’s that have the familiar actors in it, when i heard Bettie Spaghetti that got me thinking, “Is that who the doll’s named after?” i loved that doll when i had it and since that nick names in this movie and i loved that.. it’s a match, and the lady in the bus that got kissed by Tom Hanks, funny and when he mentioned she was the…. cranky neighbor lady in the wizard of OZ, or the witch i was like, “Oh yeah…” XD and it’s cool these where the first baseball females, and when the guy was on the platform making fun of them i felt like i wanted to say, “Say girls.. i didn’t know we had an immature middle schooler in here.. THATS CAUSE HE’S JEALOUS OF ARE SKILLS AND YET WE HAVE ANY UNLIKE HIM THAT HAS ONE SKILL…. shaking his butt like an old fart.” x) well…. so on Rosie O’ is my fav actor, not only is she the first person i knew to have a Brooklyn accent, she was the funniest, (next to a certain anime character same accent and all and second funniest). =U= and my Mac is retarded cause it’s saying, ”Far” not fart.. XD.

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In case you were wondering, this is the guy who turns in the amazing performance as “Bobo #3 Thug”.

Cop and a Half (1993)
This is the kind of movie where if a friend tried to tell you the plot you would refuse to believe that it was ever even concieved let alone typed out, produced, and released upon the unsuspected public. Who thought this film would be a good idea? It was directed by The Fonz who is one of my heroes so I can only assume that there was some kind of Make A Wish deal going on here where the little guy wanted to star in a feature film before he died. Aside from the amazing performance of Nils Allen Stewart as “Bobo #3 Thug” this film is a stinker. I love you Burt, but 1 star.

Major League (1989)
This film had so much going for it with the great actors and promising story line. Unfortunately for us the foul, vulgar language served to spoil (foul) even some of the funniest exchanges. Even though that language is typical in lots of locker rooms, etc. It was way over-used and made the picture a foul ball for us.
Editor’s Note: Calling the film a “foul ball” cracked me up because it’s so reminiscent of the It’s Always Sunny scene where Mac writes a letter to Chase Utley and closes out by saying that their potential friendship would be “a real homerun”.

8 Comments

Filed under Movies

8 responses to “Fun With Netflix Viewer Reviews: The “I’m on Vacation in Florida Watching Baseball” Edition

  1. That Nude on the Moon review pretty much nailed it.

  2. This is the greatest!!! Johnson Family Reunion sucked Left AND Right!!!

  3. Ahahaha, LOVE this series, John! ” it sucked so bad it smelled more then my farts” That one takes the cake I think :D

  4. I’m so confused by that Flipper review. Also I’m completely jealous that you are at a baseball game.

  5. Dan

    I kind of like Mr. Baseball, though the movie pales in comparison to that ridiculous review.

  6. I love how the Airplane 2 reviewer can manage a “should have” but then gives us a “would not of.” I guess that “not” confused him or her too much.

  7. Ha Airplane 2 and Mr baseball reviews are hilarious! Clearly some on the ball indiviuals.

    • I’m still trying to figure out if the “k” at the end of the Mr. Baseball review is someone whose name starts with “k” signing off, or if they’re shortening things from “ok” or something.

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