It’s time yet again for the article that’s easy for me and fun for you- Fun with Netflix Viewer Reviews! Here’s volume four of people writing really bad, or funny, Netflix viewer reviews. These are presented completely unedited. Even when you think I might have edited something in or out of the copy, I assure you that I have not.
As always, understand that I don’t always disagree with the negativity surrounding some of these movies, but there’s always at least one thing in these reviews that I find amusing.
True Grit (2010)
QXMgYSBDb2VuIGJyb3RoZXJzIGZhbiwgSB3YXMgdGhyaWxsZWQgdG8gaGV hciB0aGF0IHRoZXkgd2VyZSBkb2luZyBhIGZpbG0gYWRhcHRhdGlvbiBvZiBD aGFybGVzIFBvcnRpc8Oi4oKs4oSiIG5vdmVsIMOi4oKsxZNUcnVlIEdyaXTDou KCrMKdw6LigqzigJ1hbmQgY2FzdGluZyBKZWZmIEJyaWRnZXMgYXMgUm9 vc3RlciBDb2didXJuLiBBbHRob3VnaCB0aGUgbm92ZWwgaGFzIGJlZW4gYW RhcHRlZCBmb3IgZmlsbSBvbmNlIGFscmVhZHksIHRoaXMgdmVyc2lvbiBzZW VtcyB0byBhZGhlcmUgbW9yZSBjbG9zZWx5IHRvIHRoZSBzcGlyaXQgb2YgdG hlIG5vdmVsLCBwZXJoYXBzIGJlY2F1c2UgaXTDouKCrOKEonMgbm90IG1hc3 F1ZXJhZGluZyBhcyBhIHN0YXIgdmVoaWNsZS4gQXQgYW55IHJhdGUsIHRoa XMgaXMgYSBjbGFzc2ljIFdlc3Rlcm4gYXMgb25seSB0aGUgQ29lbiBicm90aGVy cyBjYW4gZG8gaXTDouKCrOKAnXNuYXBweSwgd2l0dHkgZGlhbG9ndWUsIH RocmVlLWRpbWVuc2lvbmFsIGNoYXJhY3RlcnMsIGV4cGxv sive action, and sentiment that is earned rather than begged for. The cast is populated with stars—the aforementioned Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper—but the movie belongs to the newcomer Hailee Steinfeld, who plays 14 year-old Mattie Ross with a remarkable blend of genuine righteous vengeance, child-like naivete, and—yes—true grit. Despite all the big names in this cast, she’s the one who probably has the best shot at an Oscar nomination. The movie itself is entertaining and well done, as just about all Coen brothers films are, but it may very well become best remembered as this young actress’ feature film debut.
NOTE: None of that is a mistake on my part. That’s exactly what’s there on the Netflix site.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
I don’t see where all the negativity is coming from. It reminded me in a sense of Planet of the Apes, which I thought was a pretty good movie. This movie truly kept me captivated throughout and I loved the ending. I guess I came into this movie with low expectations, seeing as it was rated the #2 worst movie of all time in a recent article I read, but I was pleasantly surprised and enjoyed watching the movie.
Philadelphia (1993)
Well, i think it was over done and poorly acted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rain Man (1988)
Oh, please! I can just hear it, the reviews of the press. “So creative”, “So life like”. If this was their first auditions they would have flunked. If either of them were up for Best Supportive Actor, they would have voted against each other. Total trashy movie to me. Anyone who likes Tom Cruise will lap this up. Any one who admires Dustin Hoffman will make little dolls of this character.
Garry Grat? He’s grrrrrrrrreat!!!!
Bringing Up Baby (1938)
I cannot belive that there were times when such primitive humor still was in demand. Maybe if somebody truly hates scientists (and rich ladies) he/she will be able to watch it. I was very disappointed that Garry Grat had agreed to take part in something that low.
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
There is no reason for a kids movie to have such language. and thematic elements. this new version should have been cleaned up.
Back to the Future (1985)
Too formulaic, with weak performances. Better films from the period are Peggy Sue Got Married and The Adaams Family.
Moneyball (2011)
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
Lady and the Tramp (1955)
I was terribly disappointed in this version of ‘Lady & the Tramp’. It is NOT the movie I saw as a youngster. What happened to all the footage of Si & Am, the 2 Siamese cats? They were only there one time, not the continuous troublemakers in the REAL movie. As a ‘mom’ of a Siamese mix, that’s why I ordered the movie. I rate it 1,002 hairballs on the carpet!!
Poltergeist (1982)
Ho-ly-crap. WHAT was I thinking when I got this!? It wasn’t even about poltergeists! This was a waste of my life that I’ll never get back.
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)
I’m 11 years old i ABSOLUTELY recommend this movie. (if you watched Abbot and Costello meet franckenstien and you liked it, you will like this movie even MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOTE: Included because I actually find this review really endearing. She signed off the review with her name but I omitted it.
How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965)
Entertaining if you enjoy the genre. But why does the prominently featured pelican make chimpanzee sounds?
I should do the same with Rate Beer or Beer Advocate reviews. Could be amusing.
Thinking the same thing, G-LO. Race ya!
Aww crap! Given your mad skills, I suspect you’ll beat me to the punch. Can’t wait to see what you pull together. Go Jim Go!
Awesome, I started a beer blog war. Loser should send me their best regional beer.
I wouldn’t call it a war. More of a skirmish or perhaps a kerfuffle.
I’m on board with “kerfuffle.” We’re definitely kerfuffling here, which I believe is German for “a slap fight amongst metrosexual men.”
“Kerfuffle” definitely sounds like something Mike Greenberg would do. Which is mostly a good thing.
Garry Grant was one of the better actors of his time. Much more talented than his hack brother Cary. Humph.
His frequent co-star Gatherine Gepburn, was pretty good in her own right.
Mwahahahaha… that True Grit one is just too much! Seriously, don’t the Netflix folks check this stuff?
Sadly, no. The best they have is a “Report” function where you can report whether or not a film isn’t actually a review.
Garry Grat… never heard of ‘im!
I feel like Carry Grant rolled over in his grave when that was written.
Seriously dude these are the funniest posts you do!! I roll around in fits everytime you post one
There are a few I found that are a little blue- on the obscene side. I’ll roll those out next time.
Pingback: Fun With Rate Beer Reviews « It's just the booze dancing…
That Simpsons image is just perfect for that Lady & the Tramp review.
Ha… isn’t it?
I can never read too many of these comments. Priceless. The Philadelphia one had me rolling.
I’m wondering if they were replying to someone else? Or…? Because if not, it doesn’t make much sense.
That settles it, I’m going to see The Ghost and Mr. Chicken even if it kills me.
I saw that movie last year around this time (and also saw it when I was a kid). It’s a really lovable movie.