Last November was a legendary month for cinematic servant robots. It was the halcyon days of movie robots serving things to people. The release of The Muppets introduced us all to the 80s Robot, Kermit’s robot butler who always had a nice, cool, 20-year old Tab or New Coke on hand for guests. November also gave us A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, which possessed its own special robot- the Wafflebot. Now that the smoke has cleared and it’s a year later, we can start to objectively dissect the question that has plagued us ever since- which robot was better? Here’s a tale of the tape that compares the two. It’s all scientific and stuff.
The 80s Robot has one humongous advantage- namely, that he hung out with the muppets. There was a chance to make up some ground in the “Catch phrase” category thanks to the Wafflebot’s offensive homophobic slur against delicious pancakes, but the 80s Robot dropped the ball by regurgitating the intellectual ramblings of valley girls. Now, you’re probably questioning the “Inspiration” result, because weed is a vehicle of impairment, seemingly an obvious winner in the category. But to do so would neglect Johnny Five’s awesome factor. Even then, the best the 80s Robot could muster was a push.
Thus, mostly on the strength of the ability to kick the ass of Ukrainian mobsters and feed me waffles, the Wafflebot wins.