Cars 2, Reviewed by a Four Year Old

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Film criticism apparently runs in my family. I recently sat down with my four year old nephew to discuss his thoughts on Cars 2. Would it be as big of a hit as the first movie, which was clearly a smashing success in his eyes? Here’s the full transcript of my interview with the budding critic:

John: So, you saw Cars 2. Tell me about Cars 2.

Jason: Um… Mama’s in the pool.

John: Yes, she is. We’ll go into the pool in a minute. Tell me about Cars 2. Did you like it?

Jason, giggles: Yeah.

John: On a scale from 1 to 10…

Jason: No, Uncle John…

John: Mmm-hmm?

Jason: I saw it in the movie theaters.

John: You saw it in the movie theater? Not on the TV?

Jason: Yeah.

John: On a scale from 1 to 10, how good was it?

Jason: Uh… super duper good?

John: Super duper good? Would you call that four and a half out of ten?

Jason (shrugs shoulders): Maybe.

John: How about eleven out of ten?

Jason: Mayyyybe… nine. No, ten.

John: Ten?

Jason: Yeah, ten.

John: Who was your favorite character?

Jason: That guy.

John: For the record, he’s pointing to Finn McMissile. What did you like about him?

Jason: He got these strings out and he got the guy with the thingies on his eyes.

John: What did he have on his eyes?

Jason: He had, um… uh… a glass. And then he… uh… just got the string out with the hooks and he had to get that guy with the glass on his eye.

John: Do you feel that the plot had a good structure?

Jason: Hmmm… And then the other cars were chasing the bad guy car and then the bad guy car got two things and he was skiing on the water. And then a fairy book got the shooting thing. And then it almost shooted the bad guy car.

John: Did you say “fairy book”?

Jason: Mmm… no, ferry boat. The ferry boat in Cars 2 tried to shoot the bad guy car.

John: Ok. Do you feel that it does a good job with character development?

Jason: Excuse me, did you bring your swimming trunks?

John (laughing): I did. I did. We can go swimming here in a few minutes.

Jason: Aaaaand…

John: What was the villain’s name? What was the bad guy’s name?

Jason: I think it was… three!

John: Three? Three plus? For the record, he’s pointing to his toy indicating that it’s for children aged three and older. Uh… Was the theater dark enough for you?

Jason (emphatic): Yes.

John: Would you have liked it a little bit darker for better projection?

Jason: We went to Emma’s house and then Cathy told her mom it could be the movie theater. But Cathy told Emma’s mom, but Cathy said to Emma’s mom that she got the blanket up but she asked Emma’s mom to lift it up at the movie theater but Emma’s mom said “No, we can’t”, so…
Editor’s Note: Emma is Jason’s best friend; Cathy is, I believe, Emma’s sister.

John: Did you have popcorn when you watched Cars 2?

Jason: At Emma’s house?

John: In the theater where you watched Cars 2.

Jason (excited): Yeah.

John: You did? Was it good?

Jason: Mmm-hmm.

John: How was the butter-to-salt ratio?

Jason: It was good at the airplane station.

John: At the airplane station?

Jason: And the airplane was far away from our house.

John: Oh.

Jason: I went to Wales.

John: Yep, you sure did go to Wales.

Jason: Were you staying at our house?

John: I was. I was watching Orzo and Nemo.

Jason: And Mozzarella and Hermann?
Editor’s Note: Orzo is the family dog; Nemo is the family fish; Mozzarella and Hermann are the cats. I recently house-sat while Jason went to Wales.

John: Yes, and Mozzarella and Hermann. And I was feeding them all. I cleaned out Nemo’s tank for you.

Jason: But this morning, my dad already cleaned it. But… but… Papi already fed Nemo this morning. And that’s it.

John: Let’s see… Let’s talk about Cars 2 a little bit more.

Jason: Mmm… All done.


24 Comments

Filed under Humor, Movies

24 responses to “Cars 2, Reviewed by a Four Year Old

  1. One of you has to work on their listening skills. You’re definitely talking about two different things.

  2. Masja

    Jason found it very funny to hear back!

  3. This is sublime! Sometimes the funny just writes itself, doesn’t it?

  4. Hilarious! I had to interview some kids recently for a survey on film for a post which I wrote about a week ago. They were aged from 6 to 15, and it was incredible how different it was interviewing them all. Some were barely able to give coherent answers, while others answered coherently with things I didn’t want to hear. It was difficult, and I can’t imagine doing it again, really.

    My nephew is five, and very much involved in the “performing arts” (my sister dramatises everything for effect). I can only imagine what it would be like to interview him. My sister sometimes drags me along to his plays and performances, so there’s a lot to pick up from them, even when your busy fidgeting and tweeting on your iPhone (I know, nasty habit!).

    You should do this again. Even if, like with Cars 2, you get completely irrelevant answers, it’d still be hilarious.

  5. Kelly

    This was absolutely adorable! I love that kids say exactly what’s on their minds. I can’t wait to read more of Jason’s movie reviews.

  6. Love this. Really funny.

    From the mouths of babes hey?

    I am trying to get my 6 yr old to do another video review of a film (namely rango) but she is turning out to be camera shy, even though she is going to a stage school. I starting to question why we pay the fee for this school!!

    Thanks for sharing I am really looking forward to Cars 2 now!!

  7. Clearly he’ll be ready to write for Cahiers du Cinema in a few years time.

    • I showed him Keaton’s “The General” once and he keeps asking me about “the train movie”. But I don’t think he’d watch the whole thing all at once.

  8. Great stuff, and worthy of the retweet I gave it from your, um, tweet.

    New review at FilmFather: Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)
    Follow me on Twitter

  9. Dude's Wife

    Jason is a good addition to your blog. I think there should be more of his reviews in the future. :-)

  10. O Mali

    Your nephew has an excellent taste in travel destinations.
    Hooray for Wales, the reject country of Britain.

  11. Can’t wait for you two to do a review of the next Saw.

    • You’d better believe that as soon as I can, I’ll be showing him the classic Universal monster movies around Halloween (in a few years). Sadly, the horror stuff may be a bit much. We had an incident around Christmas when we watched the live-action “Grinch”. Granted, I was crying too but it was for very different reasons.

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  13. Dammit, Mum’s in the pool! Leave me alone!!

  14. Very smart idea for a post. Might actually be interesting to do as a podcast type of post where you record the conversation.

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